Why I love Michigan
My Heart is hollow,
My heart is dark,
Its now become cracked with pain and rage,
Unable to show my true emotions,
But a picture, certainly can.
Its now dark and hollow, the kindness in me,
Is no more. Im threw with it.
You know, all i’ve wanted, all i’ve wanted to do, was to just cuddle up with a girl, while watching a movie or two, listen to the rain, and just relax and enjoy the night. But unfortunately, girls just won’t want to do that! when you guys want something we guys are always up to it. but when we want something like that. we have to sell our soul just to get a little romance or just to hug a freaking girl. I am seriously sick of this :( I feel like i got to sacrifice so much, to have something so simple :’(
Today/Tonight
So one of my graduating classmates from high school is in the hospital, and hopefully she can get out sometime today. My friend Dahli was in because her breathing is down about 60% Reason why i came to visit her is because she has a disease called Cystic Fibrosis that my ex girlfriend has as well. We did talk about things, she asked me how i was holding up, and i told her i was doing okay for the most part, i asked her how she was holding up herself with her condition. And she told me that her breathing has decreased, which of course, concerned me. Dahli is a good friend of mine, especially threw high school, always been a good friend to me. It wasn’t after high school i learned that she had the disease. But anyways, i learned a lot more about Cystic Fibrosis, and how much it hurts having the disease. Plus getting a first look of the treatments that is needed to get the mucus or such, out of the lungs, and breathing apparatuses to help open up the bronchial’s in the lungs. She probably doesn’t know as much as my ex does. But she knew some things i didnt know about that were indeed intriguing. What really hurt the most was seeing her have to get her blood drawn about 5 times. the first 4 they couldn’t get blood to flow, i felt terrible because she was crying it was painful. I comforted her as best as i could till her boyfriend came. She now has a port on her left arm, she has to have that for 3 weeks, with of course, antibiotics. Yet she told me that the infection she has or the disease itself, is getting more resistant to the antibiotics that shes receiving. But i sure do hope they do work.
But all in all, she’ll be leaving MGH sometime today, i do wish for her to feel better soon. And yes, it’s nice to see an old friend sometimes, maybe not in the hospital, but hey, shows you have concern.
After that, i hung out with one of my bro’s Joey, Now me and him, literally, walked all over town, so yes my feet are a little achy, but a nights sleep will treat that. But we found a high point to see the town, and we talked about our past relationships, and who we’d still take back and all, and some of the things that are kinda odd. For him, he did make a nickle off of me though, haha! But not only that, we did talk about the drama that’s happening in our lives, and our employment.
Believe me, when you get us together, theirs nothing we can’t talk about. Even when were dead bored.
-Silent Murder, Story of the Year
I miss my friend.
Nothing left for me, except the wide open road..
heading to kinross… I guess.
Finally, someone gives me the explanation, I needed to know.
Tonight…
I had my window open tonight, and im kinda glad i did. There was a guy and a girl fighting across my street, and the guy hits the girl multiple times, and the girl hit back, but he kept pulling her back as she tried to get away. no questions asked, i grabbed my phone called 911, and i told the dispatcher the description of them, and i told them. “get a unit here ASAP” they moved towards the street, and i had to go to another window in my living room, but then the guy saw me, came over to my house, and tried kicking the door down, as he got over the fence he yelled “im going to jail, come on motherfucker!!!” i ran and grabbed my mother’s pistol, i loaded a clip, cocked it, took the safety off, and pointed it out the window. by then they already ran down the block, where police finally arrived.
I thought of nothing except for the safety of my house, pets, and myself.. i thought he would of broke in and tried to attack me before he would go to jail. If that would of happened, i would have no choice, but to pull the trigger.
Thankfully i didn’t have to. But i admit, i was scared.
For once im scared to sleep.
